Ummmm... You Can't Do That

That saying that cheaters never prosper isn't exactly true; sometimes they prosper a whole lot more than the rest of us.

So when a cheater gets caught, it's an awfully good feeling.

Former Mexican presidential candidate Roberto Madrazo won the men's age-55 category in the Berlin Marathon Sept. 30, but his celebration lasted only about a week.

After a little legwork, race officials determined Madrazo had taken a shortcut during the race, at one point knocking out nine miles in 21 minutes. A 25-year-old Kenyan couldn't even run at that clip!

Thanks to electronic tracking chips all runners wear these days (I know, I ran a 5k once), race officials could pinpoint which checkpoints Madrazo missed, and from that it was easy to prove that he wasn't the legitimate winner.

Well, that and the windbreaker, hat, and running pants Madrazo wore, which made him look more like a Saturday jogger than marathoner. I hope he at least managed to break a sweat.

Mark Cuban: Great for the Cubs, Better for Baseball

George Steinbrenner aside, the typical MLB franchise owner is a rich man who makes a habit of staying out of the limelight.

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, who has expressed strong interest in purchasing the Chicago Cubs, is not that man.

Sure, Cuban has the assets, estimated at $2.3 billion. For those of you scoring at home, that's a cool billion more than Texas Rangers' owner Tom Hicks, who in 2000 cracked open his piggy bank to sign Alex Rodriguez.

No, money isn't the problem. With Cuban, it's this uneasy fear that he will somehow rock the boat, that adding him to the mix might trigger some sort of tectonic activity deep below the surface of Bud Selig's office in New York City.

In short, Cuban is a mover and a shaker: precisely what the Cubs and the game of baseball needs, but exactly the type of owner that keeps Selig up at night. Cuban's mouth and antics as an NBA owner have earned him over $1.5 million in fines, and heaven only knows what he would do if given the keys to a big league team and open access to a microphone at Wrigley Field.

As it turns out, Selig may have nothing to worry about. Purchasing an MLB franchise is a long and drawn-out process, and Selig and his cohorts may well have enough power to strong-arm Cuban out of the running.

But rest assured that Cuban will fight back and press on with his campaign. Cuban has professed his desire to become a bleacher bum at the friendly confines, and once Cuban gets his mind set on something, it's hard to change it.

Torre's Clock is Ticking

If being President is the toughest job in the world, managing the Yankees must be a close runner-up.

There have been plenty of good times during Joe Torre's administration in New York -- Torre's Yankees won four championships in a five-year span, and prior to this season, they had reeled off nine straight divisional titles -- but in recent years, his job-related stress has been on the rise.

This season alone, there was a pitching rotations in shambles, more embarrassment surrounding Jason Giambi, and the daily interrogations about the life and times of Alex Rodriguez. And always -- always -- there is pressure from above and below to win it all, which New York hasn't done since the turn of the millennium.

In Yankeeland, where every season without a World Series deals a serious blow to the manager's approval rating, Torre's job may be in jeopardy very soon, and the Boss has said as much.

Now that New York has been dispatched by Cleveland, Torre should be expecting an unfavorable phone call from Mr. Steinbrenner.

After all the ups and downs Torre has endured in 12 seasons in New York -- and of late it's been mostly downs -- I'm not sure he'll mind.

LeBron's Big No-No

I don't know how many people caught this, but LeBron James was spotted at Jacobs Field Thursday night sporting a Yankees hat.

That's right, the Cleveland Cavaliers star was seen touting the enemy colors in Game 1 of the ALDS.

Completely and totally unacceptable.

It would be forgivable (if a bit tacky) had James grown up in the Bronx or anywhere in New York. But to show up in the city that's lent you so much support and flaunt the fact that you're rooting against them...not cool.

Most likely it was just a fashion statement gone wrong. Besides, everyone knows that if you're trying to be part of something cool just like everyone else, the Red Sox Nation is where it's at.

AP Photo

Ex-Backup Punter Sentenced to Seven Years

Mitch Cozad got one last headline, but it wasn't the kind he ever sought.

The former backup punter at Northern Colorado, the one who stabbed the starter in an attempt to take his job, has been sentenced to seven years in the slammer.

No big surprises here, though the judge could have given Cozad up to 16 years for the assault.

Afterward, Cozad's tearful fiance said, "I love him, and I'll always support him."

Not likely, unless by "support" she means coming to cheer him on at the prison yard football games. Seven years -- or even three to four, if Mitchell is on his best behavior -- is an awfully long time, and I'm guessing their letter-writing stops after two or three months.

Which One of These Three Just Doesn't Belong?

Tiger Woods. Roger Federer. Alex Rodriguez.

The most talented in their respective sports, almost without room for discussion.

Yet what separates Woods and Federer from A-Rod is their propensity to come up big when it matters most.

In fairness to A-Rod, baseball is a team sport, so his success depends on the performance of eight other individuals. But at 32 years old and without a championship to his name, A-Rod needs a championship to cement his legacy.

So let's pose the question: does A-Rod belong in the company of Woods and Federer? Is it even a fair comparison?

And What Becomes of Trevor Hoffman?

Much will be made today of the epic one-game playoff last night: the poor performance by likely Cy Young winner Jake Peavy, the 10 pitchers used by Colorado, and the clutch hitting by the Rockies in the bottom of the 13th inning.

But my question is, what will become of Trevor Hoffman?

After blowing the save in a Wild Card-clinching opportunity against the Brewers Friday, Hoffman got another chance last night. And he blew it again.

Hoffman, who owns something like a 90% save conversion rate in his career, clanked the two free throws that could have won the game. He missed the extra point. Botched the tap-in.

"It happened so fast," Hoffman said in the AP story. "I didn't get it done."

As far as I can tell, Hoffman's contract includes a club option for 2008. Two weeks ago, Padres' GM Kevin Towers wouldn't have given it a second thought. Once the pain subsides, though, San Diego needs to consider whether it's time to put Hoffman out to pasture.

The man is nearly 40, and though he's still got a great changeup, his fastball is barely enough to make the change effective. But when it's all said and done, Hoffman still has more fire and courage than most of the closers out there (I'm talking to you, Brad Lidge).

Hoffman won't walk away, not with an ending like this. And for all he's done for this franchise in the past 15 years, he shouldn't have to, not without another shot next season.