Separated at Birth: Jerome Bettis and Prince Fielder?

Jerome Bettis (above) and Prince Fielder (below) are separated by 12 years and a sport, but they may as well be brothers. See the resemblance?

Something's Brewing in Seattle

Sniff, sniff. I smell a conspiracy.

You didn't hear it from me, but Howard Schultz is plotting to convert Seattle's Key Arena into the world's largest Starbucks.

Yep, the Mermaid's CEO hatched the idea last summer, and everything is going according to plan.

First, Schultz and the Basketball Club of Seattle -- the ownership group which he headed -- sold the SuperSonics and Storm to Clay Bennett. Bennett, a businessman from Oklahoma City, was a key (no pun intended) part of the equation.

See, Schultz knew that Bennett was an out-of-towner, and he knew of Oklahoma City's love affair with the displaced New Orleans Hornets. Schultz knew that Key Arena wasn't the most modern of facilities, and he knew from experience that the city and state's reticence to chip in for a new one.

Schultz knew, of course, about Oklahoma City's Ford Center, built in 2002 with a capacity of 19,559 -- almost 3,000 more butts than Key Arena accommodates.

And so, a year after purchasing the team and six months after asking for $300 million in taxpayer dollars, Bennett is, unsurprisingly, threatening to move. Seattle is unquestionably the superior city -- economically, intellectually, and aesthetically -- but Oklahoma City is Bennett's home. And it's already got the arena.

Somewhere, Howard Schultz is smiling about this. Either because he's just crazy enough to essentially boot the Sonics out of Seattle, or because all the pieces of his puzzle are filling into place.

Room for cream?

The March to 756 Continues

It may not have looked like it for the last week or two, but Barry Bonds knows how to hit a baseball.

After sitting out the last three games in the Chicago -- ostensibly to rest his ailing legs, but just as likely to clear his bulging head -- Bonds returned with a flurry, belting two home runs and driving in six against the Cubs.

Unsurprisingly, the Giants still managed to lose their seventh out of the last ten, cementing their spot in the cellar. But at this point in the season, that's neither here nor there.

The big news, of course, is that Bonds' pursuit of Hank Aaron's record has continued. Today's long balls give him 753 for his career, meaning he's got a good chance of donning the all-time home run crown as early as next week.

I've said before that I'm not a huge Barry Bonds fan, and I'm one of a minority of Giants fans that admits steroids probably fueled his quest for the record. Still, I'm going to do my best to be watching when he hits #756.

I predict most true fans of the game will, too. Love it or loathe it, we're about to witness baseball history.

It's Not the Size of the Dog in the Fight

If you're NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, you have to be approaching an all-time record for Advil (or alcohol) consumption today.

After dealing with the Tank Johnson saga and the Adam "Pacman" Jones mess, Goodell finds yet another publicity crisis in his lap.

When the dust settles and Goodell is charged with disciplining Michael Vick, it may be time to take "zero tolerance" to another level.

While an indictment does not mean that Vick has been found guilty, it means he will go to trial and would likely spend time in jail if convicted.

Given our legal system, there's a good chance Vick will get to play out this season before a verdict is reached. But if that verdict is guilty, Goodell needs to tighten the clamps like never before.

If found guilty of this federal offense, Michael Vick -- one of the most exciting and widely-admired players in the history of the game -- should be banned forever. It's harsh, but it would send a message to the ever-growing number of football-playing thugs who consider themselves oblivious to the law.

As for the Falcons, they must really be biting their nails through all of this. To lose the face of their franchise, a player they have stuck with through thick and thin, would be a tremendous blow to the gut.

And Matt Schaub? The backup Atlanta traded away because they thought they didn't need him? He's never looked quite this good.

Bucks Not the Boss of Yi

The Milwaukee Bucks' worst nightmare has come true: it appears that their first draft pick, Yi Jianlian, will not sign with the team.

The Chinese national team is throwing its weight around, sort of like the mom who tells her kids they can use her as an excuse. Yi doesn't want to play in Milwaukee, and they are lending legitimacy to his cause.

I'd hardly classify myself as an expert on matters of the NBA draft, particularly as they relate to drafting players from overseas, but a couple of things about this story stick out liking blaring sirens and flashing lights.

First of all, Yi let it be known before the draft that he wanted to play in a city with a heavy Asian influence. Sorry, but Milwaukee hardly qualifies.

Call me crazy, but it would seem that the Bucks would want to hammer out a few details, such as Yi's willingness to sign with the team, before burning a #6 pick. I know there's a bit of a language barrier to deal with, but when it comes to a lottery pick, you've got to communicate with sign language, if that's what it takes.

Second, this story solidifies the uncomfortable notion that the United States may be losing its stronghold as center of the basketball universe. Ten, fifteen years ago, a player like Yi would have killed to play anywhere in the U.S., just to get the opportunity to make a name for himself.

These days, though, Yi holds the upper hand and appears content to wait this thing out. Who knows, maybe he'll reappear in next year's draft.

Milwaukee brass have to be banging their collective heads against the wall at this point. Unfortunately, they have no one to blame but themselves.

Two Legs Up on the Competition

Who could have foreseen this predicament?

After decades of trying to improve life for disabled athletes, of giving them their own competitions, we've finally reached the point where our "help" has become too good.

The International Association of Athletic Federations (IAAF) continued its quest to exclude double-amputee Oscar Pistorius from Olympic competition in 2008, announcing that his prosthetic legs provide less air resistance than "normal" legs.

In March, the IAAF released a ruling that excludes runners with artificial help from competition. Though they insisted the ruling wasn't aimed at Pistorius, the IAAF certainly laid the groundwork for keeping the legless sensation from mainstream competition.

Pistorius, a South African who was born without fibulas, has been a double-amputee since infancy. He started running in 2003, and quickly became known as the "fastest man on no legs" and "Blade Runner."

Everybody ate it up, until his times began to approach those established by able-bodied individuals.

It pains me to say it, but Pistorius' detractors -- the ones who call his disability an unfair advantage -- are right. Pistorius and his coach have countered that additional factors should be taken into consideration, but the truth is that he is a different kind of athlete.

As technology continues to improve, we approach a tipping point. Whether Pistorius has an advantage over flesh-legged runners at this moment in time is up for debate, but you can be certain that he will eventually.

The time is near (and may be here already) when human engineering of prosthetic limbs surpasses the natural capabilities of the human body. The IAAF sees the writing on the wall and is doing its best to prepare for an inevitable firestorm.

When the IAAF says no to Pistorius' bid for the Beijing Olympics, it will be a very unpopular decision.

But it will be the right one.