If you're looking for innings, Livan Hernandez is still your man

Say what you want about Livan Hernandez -- he's pudgy, he's got average stuff, and there's no way he's only 33 years old -- but the man is an innings eater.

Hernandez has been traded or cast away by four teams now, but when the dust settles, there he is, pitching late into games every fifth day. He was at it again Wednesday night, tossing a complete game victory over the White Sox to improve to 5-1 for the Twins, who now look brilliant for signing him for peanuts ($5 million with up to $2 million in incentives) in the offseason.

The strange thing about Hernandez is that he's really never been a dominating pitcher. Decent stuff, but never great; just ask the players who've taken him deep 279 times since 1996. His 4.24 career ERA is pedestrian, as is his 1.42 WHIP, but he always takes the ball and rarely relinquishes it before the seventh inning.

Since 1998, Hernandez leads the majors in innings pitched with 2,324. Randy Johnson, Curt Schilling, Greg Maddux and Roger Clemens are distant competitors. Granted, Innings Pitched is a simple stat that doesn't tell the whole story, as evidenced by his 126 losses -- or almost 12 per year -- over that time period.

But ask a manager with a tired bullpen how he feels about five earned runs in eight innings from his starter, and I bet he'll say he'd take it. That's Hernandez, though to be fair, he's often better than that. Even with a .500 record most seasons, Hernandez is an asset to any pitching rotation.

That Hernandez does it not only night after night, but also year after year -- seemingly without time off for injuries -- is all the more remarkable. Since 1998, Hernandez lowest start total is 30 games. Are you listening, Josh Beckett?

It seems that Hernandez's average stuff and seemingly cavalier attitude have turned off some of the teams he's played for. San Francisco, for instance, seemed convinced that Hernandez was over the hill after he bombed in the 2002 World Series, and they shipped him to Montreal for Jim Brower in 2003.

Think they'd like to have that one back? The later Nationals traded Hernandez, though, and Arizona let him walk after last season. Hernandez has responded to his sendoffs in the only way he knows: he just keeps pitching.

Livan Hernandez Statistics (Baseball Reference)

Yankees, Sox fans exemplify worst in sports rivalries

Sports rivalries are all fun and games until someone decides to "take this outside."

A Yankees fan who found herself among throngs of Red Sox fans at a New Hampshire bar has been charged with the reckless second-degree murder of one of her hecklers. When an argument over whose team was the best made its way outside, Ivonne Hernandez got into her car, pointed it toward a crowd of Red Sox fans, and gunned it.

Matthew Beaudoin, 29, was struck by her vehicle and later died of massive head trauma.

It all started innocently enough, when Hernandez walked into enemy territory and announced her loyalties. Probably a bad idea, but if you've got the stomach for it, you could have a lot of fun with the bantering. But with alcohol also involved, the bantering eventually became heated.

What Ms. Hernandez did was wrong in every way, and she will deserve whatever sentence she receives. But each Red Sox fan that poked and prodded her along the way, and especially those that followed her outside, share in the blame for what happens. And cold as it may sound, that includes Mr. Beaudoin.

Roger Clemens is sorry, but for what?

For all his high-ranking Republican friends, Roger Clemens took a page right out of Bill Clinton's book Sunday.

Clemens issued a heartfelt "no apology" apology to his family and the public via a statement to the Houston Chronicle. He was sincere, remorseful, and managed to avoid admitting -- and even went so far as denying -- the accusations levied against him about a supposed decade-long affair with country singer Mindy McCready.

"I know that many people want to know what I have to say about the recent articles in the media," Clemens said. "Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right."

So Roger, what specifically are those mistakes? What flaws do you have that you'd be willing to unveil to the public? Nice try, but he's not going down that easy.

"I realize that many people want me to simply confess and apologize for the conduct that I have been accused of, but I cannot confess to, nor apologize for, things I did not do. I have apologized to my family for my mistakes. And having offered this apology to the public, I would ask that you let me and my family deal with these matters in private."

The delusions of innocence continue unhindered, I suppose. Clemens has clearly told these stories so many times that he now believes them, and he continues to invite us to join him in his fantasy land.