No Beer in Here

We as Americans have this weird propensity to overreact to tragedy.

When the terrorists took down the Twin Towers, we turned our anger into action, and look at all the security measures millions of innocent travelers face every time they fly. In response to various school shootings in the past decade, some have argued that high schools (and now colleges) should be regulated a little more like prisons.

Creating rules and regulations to prevent things that have already happened make us feel safe, I guess. After all, we have to do something. This is America!

In the wake of the tragic death of Cardinals' pitcher Josh Hancock, several teams have continued this trend by banning alcohol in their clubhouses.

Why? Who's to say that Hancock had any alcohol in the clubhouse the night he died, or if he did that it made a difference? If players want a beer after the game, I'm guessing they'll be able to find it.

I'm not suggesting that banning alcohol in clubhouses is a bad idea, per se. It's just that it's unnecessary, a proverbial closing the barn door after the horse is out.

Josh Hancock is gone, and his loss has been and should continue to be mourned. But it seems like no one is facing the reality that creating rules and regulations won't bring him back.

Curt Schilling: A Sportswriter's Dream

As a way of dealing with unwanted attention from the media, many professional athletes slip into Auto-Reponse mode when sportswriters are around.

You know when you send an email and you receive a reply right away? "I am out of the office until May 17. If you need any assistance, please contact my secretary."

For athletes, it's a go-to answer in response to nearly every question: "How'd you feel about your walk off home run today, Alex?"

"It was really a team effort out there. It's always good to come up with a win in games like this."

If you're a sportswriter (or a fan forced to read this quote written by a bad or desperate sportswriter), you're thinking, "Booooring."

And then there is Curt Schilling.

"So, Curt, anything you want to chat about before you head out for your bullpen session?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. First of all, I'd like to say that that was blood on my sock, and I'm willing to take a blood test right here, right now to prove it."

"Second, I'd like to say that Barry Bonds has admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on baseball. He's a bad person and doesn't deserve to break Hank Aaron's record."

That snap you just heard was the lead from the sportswriter's pencil, which is quivering with excitement.

The best thing about statements like the one made above (my paraphrase, but pretty close) is that it doesn't matter if it's true. In this case, it's not. But as long as you've got the quotation marks surrounding the statement --however ridiculous -- you're golden.

As a fan and an aspiring sports writer, I'd like to say thanks, Curt, for keeping things interesting. There are a lot of tight-lipped athletes that could learn from your example.

Rocket Relaunch: Clemens Un-retires Again

It's late August, 2017. The Yankees are in the thick of a pennant race with a surging Tampa Bay Devil Rays team, led by all-stars Delmon Young and B.J. Upton.

New York, meanwhile, is hanging on to the lead by the hairs on Phil Hughes' chinny-chin-chin.

With a month of baseball to play and the Devil Rays inching closer seemingly every day, the Boss knows what he has to do. He picks up the phone and dials 1-800-BID-HERE.

That's the new number for Roger Clemens' agent, Randy Hendricks. His phone has been ringing off the hook this season with teams entering the bidding war for Clemens, but so far no team has come up with a contract short and sweet enough.

Steinbrenner is desperate and out of options.

"You've reached the Rocket's launching pad, how may I help you?" Hendricks chirps.

"Um, yeah. This is the Boss," Steinbrenner mutters back.

"Bruce Springsteen?"

"Very funny. What's the asking price?"

"$100 million, prorated of course." Hendricks' reply tumbles out almost before Steinbrenner's question. "And then there are the clauses to talk about."

"So that works out to... about $17 million for this last month of the season. That's steep, but we need him. Besides the home visits between starts and a guaranteed roster spot for Kobe, any other stipulations Santa Clause needs to wear pinstripes?"

"There is one thing, and it involves one of Roger's endorsement deals."

"OK, what is it?"

"He needs to wear a Levitra patch on his right sleeve: This Rocket Launch powered by Levitra."

The Boss is disgusted ("That's too much information," he tells Hendricks), but he agrees to the terms anyway.

Postscript: The Yankees went on to win the World Series over the Brewers that season, with Clemens pitching a stellar Game 1. He could hardly describe the joy he felt as he watched the clinching Game 4 victory with his friends and family from his home in Houston. Maybe this time, retirement would finally be for good.

Josh Hancock: A Cautionary Tale

It's interesting how tragedies that befall professional athletes are magnified by the media. For that matter, we as fans get an up close and personal look at both their triumphs and failures, on and off the field.

Much of the time, I'd consider this a bad thing. For example, it's wrong that Michael Vick doesn't treat his dogs well, but what business is that of mine?

When it comes to the death of Cardinals' pitcher Josh Hancock, though, I'm glad that the public is getting a healthy, if painful dose of the truth.

Hancock is dead and there's no bringing him back, but his story can be a cautionary tale for others to heed. A few of the basic lessons that can be learned:

• Don't drink and drive. You'd think this would be obvious by now, but apparently it's not.
• Don't talk on the cell phone while driving, especially while driving drunk. Have you ever had a conversation while driving and arrived at your destination, only to realize that you remember none of the journey to get there? It's an eerie feeling.
• Youth and/or fame and fortune do not equal invincibility. We're all going to die eventually, but so many people fail to realize that that could occur before age 75.

I'm sure Hancock's family is less than thrilled to hear about the circumstances of his death, not to mention that everyone else knows, too. But given that this public knowledge could save a life -- or hundreds -- should be of solace to them when the initial sorrow subsides.

** Update ** I have posted on the lawsuits filed by Mr. Hancock here.

Here's to a Blast from the Past

Thanks to my buddy, Jeremy, for this "guest" post.

Let’s take a trip into my bedroom at my parent’s house and down memory lane.

On the walls are posters of Tim Hardaway, Latrell Sprewell, Chris Webber, and Chris Mullin--all wearing Golden State Warriors jerseys. This brings back fond memories: memories of Hardaway’s killer crossover, Sprewell attacking the rim, Webber’s Rookie of the Year season, and Mullin’s sharp shooting.

For anybody who can remember that far back (13 years ago, to be exact), that was the last time the Warriors made the playoffs. Now, after countless horrible trades and free agent signings and even more draft picks that went horribly wrong, the Warriors are finally back in the playoffs. Not only are they back, but with loads of athleticism and a healthy Baron Davis leading the charge, the Warriors are on the brink of one of the greatest playoff upsets in NBA history.

For a Warriors fan that has been through some rough times, this series against the Dallas Mavericks has been a dream come true. Let’s just hope the Warriors don’t blow this series. I don’t want to wait another 13 years.

One "Foul" Cry Too Many

Oh great, another post about racism in sports.

The New York Times published the result of a Cornell study that found that white referees call fouls on black players at a higher rate than on white players.

I tend to agree with the NBA's counterargument that the study's methodology was weak -- it examined the box scores, which contain the names of the referees but don't say who called which foul -- but I took exactly one class in statistics, so I'll leave that part of the discussion to others.

My concern is that well-meaning referees -- white, black, or purple -- will see the results of this study and start to second-guess their subconscious motivation for the way they officiate. So when they do see a foul against a black player, referees will start asking themselves if they're about to blow their whistle because the player is black.

Our society has become very sensitive about race-related topics, but I think there comes a point that we do ourselves a disservice by overfocusing on race. For example, are you nice to your co-worker because he's black, or because you genuinely like him? After honking your horn at a person that cut you off, should you feel worse when you realize she's black?

Race is an important issue, and if we're not careful our minds can become ensnared with nasty prejudices. But hypersensitivity is a cousin of prejudice, and too much introspection can leave us worse off in the long run.

Give Gifts a Chance!

The Wall Street Journal published a very interesting article this weekend about professional athletes and how they give to charity.

Next to buying a Hummer and demonstrating wealth by wearing excessive jewelry, it would seem that starting a charitable foundation is one of the most popular pursuits among professional athletes these days.

The problem is, most of these "foundations" may be crumbling from the start.

According to the article, many of pro athletes' charities are contributing much less than the benchmark 75% of assets expected of most charities. World Vision, for example, gives 87% of all moneys donated to its programs, with the rest going to overhead costs.

But most athletes that start up foundations seem to be clueless about what they are doing, and many of them hire their own friends and family to run the organizations. As a result, some foundations have contributed funds in the 15-20 percent range of their total "income." The article said that, in 2005, the Dirk Nowitzki Foundation gave zero percent. ZERO.

How about at least matching your field goal percentage, Dirk?

I realize there's more publicity in having your own foundation. It's "cool" and it makes pro athletes feel good about themselves. But for once, I wish athletes would do something that isn't about them and give them money to someone who knows how to handle it.

After all, this is charity we're talking about.

*EDIT: I should mention that there are a number of athletes out there doing a great job with their charitable foundations. If you can do it right, then I'm all for it.