Roger Clemens single-handedly righted the wayward ship that is the Yankees Saturday afternoon, tossing six mediocre innings against one of the worst teams in the Major Leagues.
"I feel really good about coming out on top in this pitcher's duel," said Clemens, obviously unaware that his opponent is now second in the Majors in losses. "I would call us the favorite to win the World Series this year."
Clemens was unfazed when informed that New York is 10 games out of first in the AL East and five back in the Wild Card.
Instead, he wanted to "use this opportunity to tell the world about my next mission, which is to save the world from that gynormous rock that's coming at the world real fast."
The Yankees pitcher was, of course, referring to the asteroid called VV2 that is believed to be on a collision course with earth for the year 2029.
"I read about it on Digg," Clemens explained. "I mean, there were over 1,400 Diggs on this one article alone, so it must be a big deal."
"I'm really good at saving things, and baseball teams, planets -- what's the difference? Besides, this is my opportunity to give back."
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2 comments:
Can you imagine the barrage of east coast bias when Clemens faces the Red Sox for the first time this year? Good gravy, I'm going to have to remove myself from the media for 2 straight weeks to avoid that.
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